This it isn't just a "mother" thing - women in general are often being told to "smile" or being asked "Why are you so emotional?" or told to "relax." These are phrases that really bother me. I don't like strangers to tell me to "smile." Or anyone to tell me to "relax." Emotions are o.k. They are o.k. for our kiddos, for us, and for dads too.
We recently took a quick day trip to Dillon Beach - and it was great. The kids really enjoyed the beach. I actually got to sit on the beach with a book and READ. Oh my god, I haven't done that since I was like 25. We stopped at the Marin Cheese Factory for some cheese and crackers and snacks. It was great. I even made Lucille a daisy chain headband (see picture above.)
Now, on the drive home - Gus should have been napping - but he decided to spend the first hour of the drive crying and whining - and we were in traffic which is never fun. Lucille didn't fall asleep and was COMPLETELY loopy instead. Talking non-stop, asking for toys and books and food... and yah, it wore on my nerves a bit. I know I looked annoyed and tired.
But I stopped for a moment - and said to anyone who was listening, "This was a GREAT trip. I don't want the memory we all have to be this car ride home."
The point is this - as adults and parents, we have responsibilities. We feel it is our responsibility that our kids get fed, and get rest, and are polite. When those things aren't going the way we expect - it can be stressful. It doesn't mean we aren't in the EXACT place we want to be in our life and we aren't enjoying every minute.
Want to say something helpful to someone who is stressed, tired or annoyed? Ask if you can do anything to help. Just please, please - don't say relax.
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